"History often repeats itself, and parents are vulnerable to passing on to their children unhealthy patters from the past Understanding our lives can free us from the otherwise almost predictable situation in which we recreate the damage to our children that was done to us in our own childhoods."
From PARENTING FROM THE INSIDE OUT
by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hatzell, copyright (c) 2003
Parents are bombarded by the stresses and challenges of raising their children. In today’s world, raising a child is becoming more complicated with 24-hour media coverage, the internet, and peers that influence our children.
With today’s stresses, parents have less chance to build healthy relationships with their children. A parent’s patience is limited. Instead of taking the time to communicate and discipline their children, they may start yelling or give in. It has been suggested, constant yelling at children can be stimulating to a child’s sensory system which motivates them to act out. If you are overwhelmed and stressed, you may be missing out (attuning) on your child’s behavioral and emotional needs, as well as their triggers. Children learn that yelling gets some kind of response. For some children, that is better than no response from their parents.
Parents who struggle to control their children are overwhelmed. They rely on the need to control their children’s behaviors as a means to help gain control in their busy and stressful lives. “Control parenting” is the parent’s way to get their child to listen, be obedient, and respect them. They are missing out on an opportunity to build a lasting relationship with their children, which results in respect as parents.
The basic principle of parenting provided at Delk Counseling is the relationship between parent and child. We believe in empowered parenting versus controlled parenting. We provide family therapy to help empower parents’ and their children’s lives. We work with parents to teach them how to be respected by their children versus demanding respect. We work with parents to teach them relationship techniques, while respecting the individual and cultural needs of the family.